Deceased mother visiting my siblings, father & I wearing royal blue si
My mother was diagnosed with a mental illness (schizophrenia) since I was a young child. My father & mother divorced when I was 15 years old (I’m now in my early 40’s). Over the years her illness became progressively worse and eventually committed suicide (with a stab to the heart) she was in her mid fifty’s (December 2005). I had a hard time coping/believing she was capable of harming herself in this way but the investigation ruled it to be a suicide. Two months prior to her death, she became upset with me and told me not to cry @ her grave when she dies. To this day, Im not able to visit her grave & allow myself to cry. (I’ve been through severs different counseling services with no success).
Several years later, I dreamed my mother came to visit my father, siblings & I. The dream was very vivid, noting she wore a royal silk blue blouse (when I was a child, I would always cuddle with one of her silk gowns, I remember it being light pink)…..not sure why, maybe my security blanket)? The dream/visit seemed to be very calm & peaceful.
As the years have gone by, I often wondered why or if this dream had any meaning as well as if she was finally at peace after living hell on earth. Any insight to this would be greatly appreciated and hopefully allow me to have closure.